Ho hum

I'm writing this this morning instead of replying to Steve's Late Night Long Email. We've debated whether 'loved up' should be spelled 'lovved up' or even 'luvved up' but found no real conclusion, we just know how those words feel. We watched 'The Village' in bed late last night, on Steve's laptop. Good film. Although I upset Steve when I told him that I'd guessed the twist. He'd told me there was a twist, that meant I was bound to try to guess it! So we had a lazy, lovved up, minor falling out. We followed this with me waving my arms high in the air, demonstrating how much in love with him I was. Typical me, I found something to worry about even in that.

I said, "If you're..." Arms drawing line high in air... "That Much in love... Where does love go?"

I couldn't imagine my love line, high in the air, getting any higher, or the feeling that inspired it becoming any stronger. So if your arms are as high as they can go in the air, what happens next? Where does love go?

Typical me, I suggested the love had to go down. Steve suggested it might become a wavy line, sometimes up, sometimes down, but always high.

Another theory was that we'd find a new stage of love. if this was stage 1 of love, we'd reach stage 2. We'd remember the time the line was high up in the air, but become so comfortable with this feeling that we'd enjoy new benefits. Steve pointed out that we were now lying comfortably in bed, he was wearing his tacky, 'Gutshot - only real name in poker' T-shirt, I had no make up and my wonky glasses. We both looked crap. We didn't notice. If we did notcice we wouldn't care.

So we came to that classic conclusion, 'No point worrying about things you have no control over.' Instead it's see what happens next, 'Lets just enjoy things'. Steve said you can handle a lot when you decide not to worry about it.

This blog post is a diversion from chores. I have another diversion planned soon, a lovved up reply to Steve's loved up email. Then I need to bash out NaNoWriMo words.

I'm on 17,995 words when I should be on 20,004. And it should be 21,671 by the end of the day... I haven't once been ahead of the average word count. I'm finding this hard. But I haven't given up.

Steve was on 17,000 by day 7. He won't tell me how many words he's written now, but I expect it must be nearly 25,000.

I'm competetive. Which is not a good thing. Steve's not like that at all. But he knows I'm a bitter jealous fool, so he doesn't boast about his word count in case it upsets me. Which it probably would. I wonder how it would be if I was on 25,000 and he was struggling? I don't know... But I feel sure that I'd be happy if Steve finished the challenge, even if I didn't. Maybe that's the next stage of lovved up-ness? Forget arms waving in the air demonstrating personal feelings, think arms high in the air, celebrating victory for someone you love, or arms holding someone who needs a hug. Perhaps the next stage of lovved up-ness is forgetting to wonder, 'What is love?' Instead using those feelings to change for the better, using them to stop being a bitter, jealous, fool of a girlfriend.