Vicky Coren Lite

When I started playing poker many years ago hardly any women played. These were days when it was possible to imagine every London poker player gathering in one room to play a tournament. It sometimes felt like they did this, on Wednesday's beginner nights at Russell Square. Most people who played watched Late Night Poker on Channel 4, and Vicky Coren was this show's star. It's fair to say that this was based on the fact that she was a pretty blonde who knew a flush beat a straight. That's not to say she was a bad player, but there were almost certainly better players who knew that a flush beat a straight, but got less attention because they weren't pretty and blonde. (Dave Colclough excepted.) As another female 'poker freak', I sometimes felt the 'Vicky Coren' factor. I felt like Vicky Coren Lite. Here's why...

Late Night Poker -
Vicky played in every series of Late Night Poker. I was asked to play, but couldn't afford the buy in.

Poker Places -
Vicky played big buy in cash games at the Victoria Casino. I played in Gutshot's barely-legal tournaments. In a room above a pub.

Home Games -
Vicky lives in Hampstead, her home game is attended by London's poker celebrities. My home game was in Bermondsey, attended by people who couldn't go to a casino because they couldn't afford nice shoes. They had their own dress code - they only played in lucky T-shirts.

Writing -
Vicky writes for the Guardian and has a weekly column in the Observer. She's had several novels published. I have a blog, I've written a few novels too. They're on A4 printer paper in my wardrobe upstairs.

Rude stuff -
Vicky tried to make the best hardcore porn film ever and wrote a book about this. I once had a sly wank in a jacuzzi at Centre Parcs, I wrote a blog post about this.

Beauty -
Vicky's a classic English Rose. I'm a mouse with a crooked nose.

Posh Factor -
Vicky went to Oxford. I went to Bournemouth. Vicky's the member of a smart West End Private Member's club. I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member. Which makes me a member of the, 'Wouldn't want to join any club...' club. Yes, I am a member of the Loser Society.

Family -
Vicky's Dad is humorist Alan Coren, her brother is journalist Giles Coren. My Mum's called Joan. She lives in York and has 3 cats. My brother's work in IT. They don't have interesting names like 'Giles'. Hi Rob and Jon!

Tournament Winnings -
Last Sunday Vicky won the London EPT at the Victoria casino and the prize was £500,000. Last Friday I won the Vic's £10 rebuy tournament. I won £750. That'll do me. I'm happy. Haven't played for ages... Well, poker's not that good, is it?