Falafel. Up escalator, Tottenham Court Road tube station

We went to Gaby's for falafel after a film. Steve said, 'That's Brian Cox!'

I regretted adding so much chilli sauce and thought, 'Brian who?'

I was wondering if he might be a football manager, or perhaps a poker player? I decided this after I glanced around and didn't see anyone glamorous sitting at any of Gaby's formica tables. Although I did notice that we were sat next to some photo of Matt Damon being clutched by Old Mr.Gaby like he didn't want to let him go. The picture wasn't signed, just clearly labelled in bold capitals - 'MATT DAMON'

Steve explained that Brian Cox was in lots of movies.

He's since sent me his complete Internet Movie Database biography, and photos too.

Match Point, The Bourne Identity, Troy, X-Men 2, The Ring, For Love of the Game, Kiss the Girls, Braveheart, Rob Roy, even Red Dwarf!

Also Smallpox 2002, Strictly Sinatra, and The Legend of Loch Lomond. Steve admitted to me that, 'These three sound crap.'

I'm still unimpressed. No wonder he was in Gaby's. Ok, so Braveheart won Oscars... But still...No.

The ghost of a long eaten falafel nugget piped up to say that he'd once been in a big film too, eaten by an extra in the background of a key scene in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. He chatted to Vinnie Jones about the role. I listened to his story as I munched. I wondered if he had an IMDB entry too?

Even if he had I wouldn't have been impressed. If I'd seen that film actor falafel nugget walking down the street I don't think I'd stop and stare. You see he was just an ugly old falafel. He wasn't one of the beautiful falafel. He wasn't a glamorous film star falafel in a pitta bread limo, with his paparazzi salad entourage.

I couldn't see any fans eager to smother him with their chilli sauce, impatiently brushing his salad aside, to tenderly lick him clean of his hoummous with their tongues... No. This was just a talking, ghost, falafel nugget.

So I drew a falafel sticker to stick beside the magic Up escalator at Oxford Circus. I wondered if anyone would stop and stare? Or be impressed? I didn't think so.

If Brian Cox had noticed the sticker beside the Up escalator I knew he might smile. I thought this because I know he likes falafel. And he eats the pickled chilli peppers too.

Yet even if Brian Cox passed up the Up escalator eating movie-extra, talking ghost falafel, with extra chilli sauce and pickles, then saw my sticker, smiled, peeled the sticker off the poster and ate that too - I still don't think I'd be impressed.

Brian Cox? Oh..! Yeah. Yeah Yeah.

Wowowee!!!

I don't think.