Hello and a very warm welcome from Barcelona...
Forty-six teams from around the world fought it out in online qualifiers, playing in their pyjamas at breakfast time in Brazil against opponents eating late night pizza in New Zealand. Now eight teams meet in the Spanish sunshine, and...
I don't know. Just the sort of thing I might need to write. Just practising... I need to practise...
I’ve been reading lots about Iceland! I know Iceland are through to the finals. I’ll learn who the other teams will be on Saturday.
It’s England vs Wales for a place in Barcelona. I kind of hope Wales win, because don’t proper poker reported types have to be impartial? If I write, ‘Go England! Yay! England spanked those Ice-people with a sweet two-outer...’ I guess that’s not going to go down too well?
It is exciting though! People from Iceland, and maybe Poland too, are going to be relying on me for news reports, following their country, dreaming that it will be their team that holds aloft the prized poker World Cup!
If you’re not excited about this then you surely must be dead? Or from a country that’s not playing? Or not much interested in poker?
There must be someone left still who might want to read my reports from Barcelona?
I think it's very exciting! And if you're not interested in this most prestigious poker event then you're probably going to have to stop reading my blog until the end of June. I think you do secretly want to develop an interest in the Icelandic poker scene - don't you?
It's ok, I don't have a 'hits counter', I'll happily talk to myself, makes no difference to me.
I’m not sure how much of my new Icelandic knowledge I’m actually going to use in the tournament coverage, but I do think it’s good to be prepared. I may just slip it into a hand story that 'the Great Geysir' in South West Iceland can spew a jet of water 200 feet into the air.
Or that there are twice as many sheep in Iceland as people?
That they have 13 Santa Clauses at Christmas?
To be honest I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to write this thing without mentioning geysers. Most poker blogging seems to be 'x had this hand, the flop was y, and z won.' I can do geyser stuff, it's the xyz I might find tricky. I have a tendency to forget whether y comes after x. And I might get confused about whether it's x, y, or q at the end there? I might be expected to know how many chips q won in that hand too? That's numbers and letters at once! Can I just talk about the geysers, please?
Don't worry, I'm not really terrified. I just need to concentrate, and work hard, and write lots of notes, and tell Steve that he's far too big a distraction, so, no, he can't come too.
I decided that I could either spend the next few weeks being scared silly about this serious poker writing experience, or else be productively worried in finding out all about the teams and countries I'm going to follow.
So I decided I’m going to write to Bjork. Wouldn’t it be great if she sent a message of support to the Icelandic poker heroes?
I had an Iceland team poker joke planned too, but then I realised that US readers won’t have seen those ‘My Mum went to Iceland’ TV ads. I do like that frozen food store... It’s so true - Mum’s really are heroes. They heroically shop at Iceland in order to serve up oven chips and micro-sausages, because their heroically not bothered about spending ages cooking real and nutritious food for their sprogs. Good on them! I’m a hero too... I have better stuff to do with my time than peel carrots and chop garlic...
Like try to borrow the camera off Marketing Conrad..? I need to get used to it before this tournament, otherwise I might have a whole nation hating me because the only photo of their victorious team had arms cut off, and blurry faces with red eyes... I haven’t researched Polish culture yet, but it could be that all limbs have to be showing? I know some countries are funny about specific body parts. Like in Greece if you wave it's rude..? Or is it Spain with pointing fingers? I know some counties are funny about photos too. Is it Nicaragua where if you take a picture they think it captures your soul? Or Afghanistan and it breaks your heart? Anyway, the point is that if I research the culture and history of the teams I'm following I might be able to use this in a hand story too.
Yes, like...
Polish Helga and Icelandic Eric consider a flop of A 5 3. Helga bets out - Iclandic Eric re-raises. Helga calls, and so they see the turn. It's a 2. Erik points and laughs derisively at this card. Helga glares at Erik's culturally insulting finger (she has a Spanish background.) Helga goes all-in, perhaps on tilt? Erik calls, and turns over 33 for a set. Helga smiles as she shows her Ace 4 and the straight! Erik is openly weeping now, a torrent of tears resembling a geyser from his Icelandic homeland.
I take a photo of Helga's moment of victory - just as the river is dealt. Another 5! Helga's heart is broken! Erik has the full house and Helga sobs and slumps into her chair, as if my camera-click stole her very soul, as fabled in Nicaraguan legend... The river card has left Helga a mere poker ghost, as the Polish nation mourns the cruelty of that fateful final card... Erik joyfully lifts the cup, as Bjork steps forward to congratulate him. She'd received my email and been excited to see her nation's success.
As Bjork croons 'Human Behaviour' Conrad tells me that I'll never blog for PokerStars again.
Yes, could write stuff like that. I'm also getting some tips from other poker writers I know, everything from make up chip counts, to write in Word because it has grammar and spell check, and write bland, but fast, to impress marketing people.... And I have a long list of other ideas to help me become a proper poker journo by mid-June. I need to read every poker blog I can, that's top of the list. Because I don't really think you're supposed to mention geysers..? I did promise Simon from Greece I'd use the word 'frock' somewhere on the Barcelona blog. Maybe the story about the time I displayed the word 'Frock' in the lobby of our software, when there were 20,000 players online? Maybe not...
Anyway, the important thing is that I try my very best with this. I really don't want to let anyone down, or, much more importantly, look like an idiot. I still don't know if PokerStars know what they're doing. I guess we'll find out in June.
I don't know. Just the sort of thing I might need to write. Just practising... I need to practise...
I’ve been reading lots about Iceland! I know Iceland are through to the finals. I’ll learn who the other teams will be on Saturday.
It’s England vs Wales for a place in Barcelona. I kind of hope Wales win, because don’t proper poker reported types have to be impartial? If I write, ‘Go England! Yay! England spanked those Ice-people with a sweet two-outer...’ I guess that’s not going to go down too well?
It is exciting though! People from Iceland, and maybe Poland too, are going to be relying on me for news reports, following their country, dreaming that it will be their team that holds aloft the prized poker World Cup!
If you’re not excited about this then you surely must be dead? Or from a country that’s not playing? Or not much interested in poker?
There must be someone left still who might want to read my reports from Barcelona?
I think it's very exciting! And if you're not interested in this most prestigious poker event then you're probably going to have to stop reading my blog until the end of June. I think you do secretly want to develop an interest in the Icelandic poker scene - don't you?
It's ok, I don't have a 'hits counter', I'll happily talk to myself, makes no difference to me.
I’m not sure how much of my new Icelandic knowledge I’m actually going to use in the tournament coverage, but I do think it’s good to be prepared. I may just slip it into a hand story that 'the Great Geysir' in South West Iceland can spew a jet of water 200 feet into the air.
Or that there are twice as many sheep in Iceland as people?
That they have 13 Santa Clauses at Christmas?
To be honest I'm sitting here wondering how I'm going to write this thing without mentioning geysers. Most poker blogging seems to be 'x had this hand, the flop was y, and z won.' I can do geyser stuff, it's the xyz I might find tricky. I have a tendency to forget whether y comes after x. And I might get confused about whether it's x, y, or q at the end there? I might be expected to know how many chips q won in that hand too? That's numbers and letters at once! Can I just talk about the geysers, please?
Don't worry, I'm not really terrified. I just need to concentrate, and work hard, and write lots of notes, and tell Steve that he's far too big a distraction, so, no, he can't come too.
I decided that I could either spend the next few weeks being scared silly about this serious poker writing experience, or else be productively worried in finding out all about the teams and countries I'm going to follow.
So I decided I’m going to write to Bjork. Wouldn’t it be great if she sent a message of support to the Icelandic poker heroes?
I had an Iceland team poker joke planned too, but then I realised that US readers won’t have seen those ‘My Mum went to Iceland’ TV ads. I do like that frozen food store... It’s so true - Mum’s really are heroes. They heroically shop at Iceland in order to serve up oven chips and micro-sausages, because their heroically not bothered about spending ages cooking real and nutritious food for their sprogs. Good on them! I’m a hero too... I have better stuff to do with my time than peel carrots and chop garlic...
Like try to borrow the camera off Marketing Conrad..? I need to get used to it before this tournament, otherwise I might have a whole nation hating me because the only photo of their victorious team had arms cut off, and blurry faces with red eyes... I haven’t researched Polish culture yet, but it could be that all limbs have to be showing? I know some countries are funny about specific body parts. Like in Greece if you wave it's rude..? Or is it Spain with pointing fingers? I know some counties are funny about photos too. Is it Nicaragua where if you take a picture they think it captures your soul? Or Afghanistan and it breaks your heart? Anyway, the point is that if I research the culture and history of the teams I'm following I might be able to use this in a hand story too.
Yes, like...
Polish Helga and Icelandic Eric consider a flop of A 5 3. Helga bets out - Iclandic Eric re-raises. Helga calls, and so they see the turn. It's a 2. Erik points and laughs derisively at this card. Helga glares at Erik's culturally insulting finger (she has a Spanish background.) Helga goes all-in, perhaps on tilt? Erik calls, and turns over 33 for a set. Helga smiles as she shows her Ace 4 and the straight! Erik is openly weeping now, a torrent of tears resembling a geyser from his Icelandic homeland.
I take a photo of Helga's moment of victory - just as the river is dealt. Another 5! Helga's heart is broken! Erik has the full house and Helga sobs and slumps into her chair, as if my camera-click stole her very soul, as fabled in Nicaraguan legend... The river card has left Helga a mere poker ghost, as the Polish nation mourns the cruelty of that fateful final card... Erik joyfully lifts the cup, as Bjork steps forward to congratulate him. She'd received my email and been excited to see her nation's success.
As Bjork croons 'Human Behaviour' Conrad tells me that I'll never blog for PokerStars again.
Yes, could write stuff like that. I'm also getting some tips from other poker writers I know, everything from make up chip counts, to write in Word because it has grammar and spell check, and write bland, but fast, to impress marketing people.... And I have a long list of other ideas to help me become a proper poker journo by mid-June. I need to read every poker blog I can, that's top of the list. Because I don't really think you're supposed to mention geysers..? I did promise Simon from Greece I'd use the word 'frock' somewhere on the Barcelona blog. Maybe the story about the time I displayed the word 'Frock' in the lobby of our software, when there were 20,000 players online? Maybe not...
Anyway, the important thing is that I try my very best with this. I really don't want to let anyone down, or, much more importantly, look like an idiot. I still don't know if PokerStars know what they're doing. I guess we'll find out in June.
posted by Jo at 10:19 AM
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