Moving

The move to my new place went well enough, just the usual stresses to make it a shitty day, but that day is over now. And I have a house. A house with boxes, and too much furniture, and a poker table that I don't really want. But it's a good house, and it will get better when I can find my way to my mattress-bed on the floor without needing to climb over a pile of bin bags. And better yet when I get to Ikea and get a real bed.

I spent my moving day dwelling on the mess I'd made of the night before with Steve. I'd kicked him. Several times, quite hard. It was a free bar at the PokerStars media event. I made use of this. I also snubbed the current WSOP champion when introduced, well, he was standing next to this comedian I like...

Anyway, the kicking and the drinking, and the wanting to dump someone I'm crazy about, was all a bit mad. It happens sometimes, mainly when I drink. I hit self-destruct because I feel like crap. But it's a temporary thing, and I'm not going to drink so much anymore. I've decided I can't drink when I'm around Steve, because he's my touch paper when alcohol is my head-fuck demon fuel. It's only because I love him so much! Does that make any sense? No, not really, but I know that it's that. Even if I don't know why I mess up and hurt him sometimes.

He had his heart set on getting cowboy boots and Rolling Stone magazine on his day off yesterday, but that didn't happen. Yesterday was a funny day for many reasons. Anyone want a poker table?

Just got back from my lunch hour. I set out to buy an extension lead and a sink draining rack, instead I bought a copy of Rolling Stone and a vegetarian cook book.

My new kitchen is roomy and light, with a happy cactus on the window sill, and I'm going to learn how to cook.

I was going to write something about ex's and my unwanted poker table but I can't be bothered, because I'm grinning too much. I just got an email from Steve, and everything's alright. No it's not, it's far better than alright, because it was the best email ever and my bofriend is the funniest, best and nicest bloke in all the world. Who always says the right thing to make me feel better, always, absolutely, all the time. Cowboy boots and even kicks don't matter. Life is good. And I have the feeling it might get better...