Writerly types

Gutshot and PokerStars are two of the nicest companies I know. I don't have much knowledge of the world of work, so maybe all companies are this nice? Until I started working at PokerStars a few years ago I spent my time trying to avoid a proper job. Now I have a proper job and I work for a fantastic company - and I love it! Why did I ever think I wouldn't?

Boyfriend Steve is just as comitted to his work for Gutshot as I am to mine at PokerStars, but he works far harder than I do. He lives on caffeine, never stops, he's barely slept this week. This upsets me. I hate that he works so hard that it can't be good for him. I hate that his crazy-for-work attitude means that he can't expect to produce his best work. I hate that too much work and not enough sleep makes him miserable sometimes, although he tries to hide that from me.

I hate the way his work negatively effects him, but I can cope with any effects it has on our relationship. I can deal with the fact that he gets work calls every time we meet. I'm used to the idea that he has a 7 day a week 365 day a year 'button pushing' habit because he has to update the Gutshot site at 10am every day. I understand that he has to work evenings, although it's frustrating when it happens on an Amy-free night. But it bothers me when I feel he's got so used to working he's forgotten how to relax. I worry when I think he doesn't know what to do with his free time.

I understand it completely though - I was an obsessive would-be writer for a while. I did this for several years, it was my best plan in my 'attempt to avoid proper work'. Being a writer means there's always something to do. When my shift ends I get to go home and forget work, for Steve that's impossible. Being a writer is a 24 hour job. When you're not writing you're thinking about writing, when you're not thinking about writing you're thinking you ought to be writing, or else you're thinking that you ought to be thinking about writing...

Steve loves his job, and I know he wants to be the best that he can be. He cares about work, and that means something. His work is important to him, and so it's important to me. His job is important, and he's good at it! I love him more because he cares about it. And I love writing as much as he does. I love him because he cares about writing as much as I do. Writing-curse or not, I wouldn't have him any other way.

We are a funny couple, we sit in front of the TV and don't have a clue what to do. Neither of us ever watches TV when we're not together. I spend my free time blogging, or else writing my screenplay. Steve doesn't do 'free time' at all, his time is spent writing, polishing articles, and meeting poker players to write about them.

I've noticed other odd things go on when two writerly types get together. Sometimes there are silences. I'm sure there are silences between any couple in the early months. But it's our attitude to these silience that I always note. I don't know what other couples do - we always comment on the silence. Our conversation might go something like this -

'Oh, it's one of those funny silences.'

'Don't worry about the funny silences.'

'Do you worry about the funny silences?'

'Oh yes, when there's a funny silence I think 'this is a funny silence'.'

'Me too. I think 'what should I say when there's a funny silence'?'

'Yeah, I think 'Should I mention the funny silence?''

We do this a lot, talking about thinking about talking. I think that's what has to happen when you get two sensitive writerly types together. And I'm happy with it, I'm happy with him. Even though he has this crazy-for-work problem.

I feel like we're trying to teach each other basic life stuff. Maybe we need a crash course in 'being a couple'? Lesson 1 - Watching TV.

We're helping each other to actually live, instead of just writing about living. We're both experts in writing about living, but we need to learn to live without writing. That's the challenge.

Did I start by telling you how nice our respective companies are? Well, Steve's boss has just done something great..! He's told Steve to take it easy for a few days, and I'm so glad and grateful. I know it would be a close run race in the 'Great Bosses' award between Mark at PokerStars and Derek at Gutshot. I think Mark would win - but only just. Mark's wise, and very funny, and he has a great beard! Derek is wise and very funny too, but I've never seen him with a beard...

I'm seeing Steve later, I hope he's enjoying his day off. If there's a funny silence I'll be sure to tell him I've been writing about talking about thinking about talking.