Plan Bee
I haven't blogged for a while, have I? I haven't been especially busy, and I have the broadband back so that's not it. I think I've lost a bit of the old inspiration. I do wonder whether being happy is making me boring, I spend too much time looking in recipe books dreaming of baking bread, or finding an impressive use for beans. I feel houseproud and domestic, smug and contented, with my boyfriend, daughter, and new home.
It's not a bad thing for me at all if the blogging slows or stops. For over a year I would spend a little part of the day thinking 'could I blog about that?' 'Or maybe that?' It was a kind of challenge for me - and I think I got quite good at it. I'd usually find something in my day to write about, but maybe now I need a little rest from that? Maybe it became a bit too easy. Maybe I took the every day writing obsession too far? Where's the challenge if I can rattle off a post? Where's the fun if you're thinking - 'must update!' There's no point to it if it feels like a chore, there's no pleasure if you start to become a blogging hack. The sort of stuff I've been writing lately is starting to bore me, I'm getting tired of hearing myself go on, I'm not so interested in talking about myself, in endless 'me, me, me' posts. I do still want to write, I just want it to be different. I wondered what to do, and thought if plain old reality is getting dull, why don't I make stuff up?
We'll see.
I couldn't decide what stickers to make this week. I usually have a weekly theme for the on the magic Up escalator at Oxford Circus. Amy suggested, 'make stickers beginning with some letter.' That's because I did this once before, and she enjoyed helping me. Last time it was 'S' - for Steve.
I dismissed her idea at first. But yesterday we were heading home I was thinking about my new place. The house number is 22B. Amy and I sometimes laugh about the fact that there are lots of number 22's on my road. The 22 houses don't look any different from the rest of the houses on the street, but the numbering goes funny. It's 20, 22, 22A, 22B, 22C, 22D, 24, 26. I told Amy that our 22 was special because our road name begins with 'B' too. It was raining, so I thought of my boyfriend who likes the rain - and always remembers to carry a brolly. I thought too of the rain on my recent trip to Brighton with friends Pete B and Stevie B. I thought about my favourite stickers I'd made, balloons beside the Up escalator - at Tooting Bec not Broadway.
I thought about my house and how it was starting to get sorted out, with BT Broadband now and beds built. I thought about being busy, and feeling blessed to have time and money and friends to help with things. I thought about work giving me a chance to blog in Barcelona. I thought about butterfly stickers, and how hard it used to seem to imagine making stickers that were beautiful.
I remembered an advert Steve liked about bouncing balls and sticking a sticker when I a tube poster version of these. I remembered a recent conversation with him about silly horoscope stuff, and laughing that Libra's 'Balance' seemed to suit Steve so well. I'm thinking now of Bank Holiday trips, and how the blue fish at the aquarium was my favourite, and how we all laughed because the clown fish wasn't like Nemo as it was too brown. I thought of the first letter stickers I stuck - 'S' for Steve's first name, and realised that his surname starts with a 'B'. I thought of the first stickers I stuck on the Up escalator at Oxford Circus, I stuck them for no real reason, when blogging felt like the best thing in the world. I stuck sticker bees.
So today I stuck a bee again on the magic Up escalator at Oxford Circus. It might have looked the same as the first bee I stuck many months ago, but to me it's quite different. It's my special Plan Bee. For a new start. For being happy.
As I came home today I thought what should I blog? Should I blog at all? I thought about being broke, and bank trips in my break, and blubbing last night over something silly, and I realised I'd forgot to buy beer, and I felt busy, and in a bad mood. And I saw the estate agent's sign that's still outside the front door of my house. I thought, 'Bollocks! Do I have to nag them to remove that?' Bastards. And I looked at the sign for a moment, and smiled and then I sat down to write this post, there's a few bad things in my life right now, but mostly life is brilliant.
It's not a bad thing for me at all if the blogging slows or stops. For over a year I would spend a little part of the day thinking 'could I blog about that?' 'Or maybe that?' It was a kind of challenge for me - and I think I got quite good at it. I'd usually find something in my day to write about, but maybe now I need a little rest from that? Maybe it became a bit too easy. Maybe I took the every day writing obsession too far? Where's the challenge if I can rattle off a post? Where's the fun if you're thinking - 'must update!' There's no point to it if it feels like a chore, there's no pleasure if you start to become a blogging hack. The sort of stuff I've been writing lately is starting to bore me, I'm getting tired of hearing myself go on, I'm not so interested in talking about myself, in endless 'me, me, me' posts. I do still want to write, I just want it to be different. I wondered what to do, and thought if plain old reality is getting dull, why don't I make stuff up?
We'll see.
I couldn't decide what stickers to make this week. I usually have a weekly theme for the on the magic Up escalator at Oxford Circus. Amy suggested, 'make stickers beginning with some letter.' That's because I did this once before, and she enjoyed helping me. Last time it was 'S' - for Steve.
I dismissed her idea at first. But yesterday we were heading home I was thinking about my new place. The house number is 22B. Amy and I sometimes laugh about the fact that there are lots of number 22's on my road. The 22 houses don't look any different from the rest of the houses on the street, but the numbering goes funny. It's 20, 22, 22A, 22B, 22C, 22D, 24, 26. I told Amy that our 22 was special because our road name begins with 'B' too. It was raining, so I thought of my boyfriend who likes the rain - and always remembers to carry a brolly. I thought too of the rain on my recent trip to Brighton with friends Pete B and Stevie B. I thought about my favourite stickers I'd made, balloons beside the Up escalator - at Tooting Bec not Broadway.
I thought about my house and how it was starting to get sorted out, with BT Broadband now and beds built. I thought about being busy, and feeling blessed to have time and money and friends to help with things. I thought about work giving me a chance to blog in Barcelona. I thought about butterfly stickers, and how hard it used to seem to imagine making stickers that were beautiful.
I remembered an advert Steve liked about bouncing balls and sticking a sticker when I a tube poster version of these. I remembered a recent conversation with him about silly horoscope stuff, and laughing that Libra's 'Balance' seemed to suit Steve so well. I'm thinking now of Bank Holiday trips, and how the blue fish at the aquarium was my favourite, and how we all laughed because the clown fish wasn't like Nemo as it was too brown. I thought of the first letter stickers I stuck - 'S' for Steve's first name, and realised that his surname starts with a 'B'. I thought of the first stickers I stuck on the Up escalator at Oxford Circus, I stuck them for no real reason, when blogging felt like the best thing in the world. I stuck sticker bees.
So today I stuck a bee again on the magic Up escalator at Oxford Circus. It might have looked the same as the first bee I stuck many months ago, but to me it's quite different. It's my special Plan Bee. For a new start. For being happy.
As I came home today I thought what should I blog? Should I blog at all? I thought about being broke, and bank trips in my break, and blubbing last night over something silly, and I realised I'd forgot to buy beer, and I felt busy, and in a bad mood. And I saw the estate agent's sign that's still outside the front door of my house. I thought, 'Bollocks! Do I have to nag them to remove that?' Bastards. And I looked at the sign for a moment, and smiled and then I sat down to write this post, there's a few bad things in my life right now, but mostly life is brilliant.
posted by Jo at 4:26 PM
2 Comments:
Bonkers
Bloody Brill!
First visti to you blog and I'm hooked. keep it up.
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