Sunday, April 30, 2006

My happy list

I started writing a 'To Do' list.

  • Ironing

  • Carpet shampoo cat sick

  • Sort out moving stuff... (see long list)

  • Don't spend any money for next few weeks


  • Then I started writing a 'Happy List' instead.

    This is simply a list of things that make me happy today.

  • Singing to 'Man in the moon' whilst jumping on sofa cushions. Preparations for our show 'Bouncey Boing' which will be performed to Amy's toys later.


  • Cowboy cactus. I want to buy a cactus that looks like a proper miniature cowboy cactus, as a housewarming present for Steve. I don't know if that's even possible? Or whether he'd like it... He did liked the lift-the-flap housewarming card and Innocent Smoothie I've already given him. So if he hates cacti he might not dump me.


  • Lift the flap stickers. I've made one today, there's just one more to do. These are specially targeted stickers to go on a poster picture of rubbish.


  • New house. There's a blue leather sofa in my new house, I hate it! This is a huge, ugly, monstrous 1980's freak of a sofa. But I'm stuck with it. So I'm contemplating making a picture of this blue leather sofa in pop art style, to put on the living room wall. Or perhaps blue leather sofa print cushions instead? I've decided that emphasising its ugliness might equal some kind of OTT style statement? I don't know really. I've never properly had my own place before, and I don't really know what I'm doing. If the print or cushions idea is too ambitious I could just make some stickers. I could cover over the ugly great thing with loads of stickers until it's all covered up. Or perhaps I could make one really big sticker, sofa size, in a sofa in a design that I actually like?


  • It's sunny today. Amy and I will probably go to the park later. Steve repaired the puncture on Amy's birthday present bike (it's had a flat tire since February.) He's great! She's great! Sunny days in the park are great!

  • Last night with Steve was good. We agreed to ditch my idea of a sensible seeing each other twice a week routine, and instead to go crazy with this and see each other as often as we want to, which for both of us means as often as we can.


  • Yes, Steve again... He sent an 'I love you' email today. We're still using the 'l' word cautiously, which is a good thing, but I think it' is always there unsaid. I couldn't use it as much as I think it though - it would become meaningless through overuse. I think we're using it just enough.

  • Dolly our cat, is learning to stick her tongue out on command. When she does this I make her do funny voices, and use the word 'spacca'. This may not be politically correct, but it's not me who says it - it's Dolly. And her rudeness and silliness makes me laugh.


  • Tash our new au pair is brilliant. She tickles Amy! And she doesn't mind my cooking! And she's out a lot so it feels like I have my own house! These means I can sing and dance in the living room. Actually I'd still sing and dance if she's here - but it means I don't need to shut the door. Dolly likes the door open.

  • I'm going to get things from my ex's house when I move. There's lots of things I like that I'll own again. A garden statue, some antique furniture, some pictures. Actually the only thing that really matters is the little garden statue.


  • I've decided I'm going to plant pansies in my new garden. And maybe try to grow some vegetables. It's a big garden. I need to learn about gardening.


  • Amy loves art, and blogging, and sings the songs I like. We might take some photos of Tooting Bec later. My daughter likes the things I do, and this is good. Although I'd love her just as much if she liked Tamagotchis, and computer games, and cartoons about superheroes. Hmmm...


  • Amy planted some seeds which have grown into little plants now. She remembers to water them every day. Once or even twice a day. Or even more. She's happy doing this, and the flowers will come out soon.


  • I'm going to start a DVD collection. This will be a collection of the films I like. I used to only watch films my ex liked too. My ex kept all the DVDs when we split up, so I have just 2 DVDs now. One of my first date's with Steve involved a trip to HMV to start my DVD section. I bought him one too, he has 6 now, but I'll catch up soon.


  • I've remembered a recipe for vegetable curry. I used to make this a lot and it was good. I'm going to make it again. This will mean that I can cook 3 dishes - vegetable stir-fry noodles, blue cheese pasta, and curry. Steve says he can make green salad and risotto. I'll ask him to teach me those, and I'm going to buy a recipe book and learn how to cook.

  • West Ham are in the FA Cup Final! On my old blog I would probably have whined that when I was with my Ex I would have seen them play in Cardiff. This is my happy blog, and I am simply very happy. Really, truly, happy. I'll watch West Ham on the TV with Steve. West Ham winning the FA Cup will be magic!
  • Saturday, April 29, 2006

    Too much to say...

    There's too much to say about my new relationship. Steve moved to Streatham today, and this is just down the road! I'm so happy for him because he has a place of his own after sofa-hopping adventures in homelessness; but mostly I'm just excited because he's just down the road! We had a happy, silly, fun early date at Streatham ice rink, and sat for ages eating pink cake at a friendly cafe that seemed to stay open until 11pm just for us. Now he's just down the road(!) and I really want to see him now! I'm so happy he moved just down the road!

    I can't believe I ticked him off for moving so close to me, pointing out that his office was the other side of London, it would have been practical to consider things like that, particularly as we've only been dating a month. Yes, only a month... But it's been a special, wonderful, happy, amazing month. I think he's the sensible one for moving just down the road(!) and I'm the crazy one for telling him all the time that we need to be 'calm and cool' about this. That's become our joke, the 'calm and cool' thing. Neither of us feel in any way calm or cool, and I know he doesn't want to do 'calm and cool' at all. I love him more for trying 'calm and cool' just for me, and for joking about it, and for turning it into one of our special, magic phrases. I know every couple probably has secret, magic, words , but I've never had this many with anyone else before. So many shared jokes, shared smiles, shared happy times.

    I find myself cooking tea and thinking about the way I feel, crazily attempting to define love as I stir a pan of pasta sauce. I came up with 30% excitement, 20% dreams, 20% laughter, 20% empathy, 20% crazy-headfuck-motherfuckery-amazing-mad-amazing-indescribable stuff... And I think I have the ingredients for love just about right, but the pasta sauce got ruined because I forgot the garlic, and used far too much tomato puree.

    Got to go, he sent a text about Innocent Smoothies. Magic words again, so I turn into a fairytale princess who believes she'll live happily ever after...

    Friday, April 28, 2006

    my blog

    I fiddled with the order of the words.

    magic happy silly fun blog? fun silly happy magic blog? silly fun happy blog? blog happy magic silly fun?

    I decided magic should be (magic).

    Where do full stops go after brackets?

    Is using small case letters in a title too pretensious?

    I can't spell prettentious.

    I think lots of stuff like this. Always.

    Then I think 'oh fuck it'. This is a happy silly (magic) fun blog.

    And I'm not going to use commas either!

    And I'll start sentences with 'and' when I want to!

    And I'll use exclamation marks and smilies too!!! :-)

    Because

    I'll start sentences with 'because' when I want to...

    And do that thing with three dots a LOT...

    Because...

    This is a !

    happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog happy silly (magic) fun blog